A Unique Approach to Helping Couples. . .
I have combined effective, results-oriented models from several masters of relationship therapy specifically rooted in the extensive relationship research of John Gottman, PhD. Having trained at the advanced levels with Drs. John and Julie Gottman of the Gottman Institute, I rely heavily on the Gottman methods in my work with couples. I also blend in my training in Adlerian Couples Counseling and Imago Relationship Therapy.
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Couples Counseling Approaches
I provide a mixture of several professional theoretical and practical approaches to couples counseling.
The Gottman Method
After 30 years of research with over 3000 couples, Drs. John and Julie Gottman developed an approach to couples therapy that includes a thorough assessment of the couple relationship and integrates research-based interventions based on the Sound Relationship House Theory. Having trained with the Gottmans at an advanced level, my work with couples is built on this foundation. The goals of Gottman Method for couples counseling are to mitigate conflicting verbal communication, increase emotional and physical intimacy, grow a deep sense of respect, dissolve barriers that keep couples feeling stuck in conflicting situations, and cultivate a heightened sense of empathy and understanding within the the relationship.
Adlerian Couples Counseling
Using Adlerian theory we are able to identify what drives and motivates behaviors in relationship, understanding that all humans need to feel a sense of belonging and encouragement within relationships. When combined with the Gottman method, I am able to identify the very specific ways couples are interacting (or not interacting) which may be causing damage to the relationship. This knowledge helps to bring positive change within the relationship.
Imago Method
Developed by Dr. Harville Hendrix, Imago theory helps couples become more aware of one another’s perspectives with deep empathy providing a way for couples to learn how their problems arise. By activating compassion through deep and active listening skills, couples are able to achieve a sense of connection, stability and harmony within the relationship.With Imago techniques we are able to realize a whole new way of relating and communicating that is adaptive and effective.
I see consistently positive outcome and results from my unique counseling programs with couples.
In order for couples to see the results they desire from relationship counseling, I have a specialized system for ensuring commitment to the therapy process prior to entering into therapy.
What will couples counseling look like?
Due to the unique nature of my method of providing couples counseling, I am unable to bill insurance or EAPs for this service. Couples counseling with me is an out of pocket investment in the health of your relationship. It is a solid investment because my method is backed by research and 20+ years of experience seeing couples’ relationships improve after this work together.
Step 1: A brief initial meeting between both partners and me to see if we all feel like we are a good fit. This is a time for you to get to know me a bit, my style and manner of communicating, and to ask questions. It’s also a time for me to make an initial assessment as to whether I believe I’m able to support you.
Step 2: If we decide to move forward we will schedule your first sessions for the Assessment Phase of the couples counseling process. I will send you both an electronic new client agreement and informed consent document for both of you to review and sign and submit electronically. Any questions you may have can be asked and answered through email or phone.
Assessment Phase:
The assessment phase consists of the following sessions and processes. The following events ideally occur within a two week period.
Intake Session – 90 minutes: Both partners and I will meet. During this session I will have specific questions for you and I will provide you an opportunity to have a discussion with one another as I observe your dynamic and communication patterns. This 90 minutes will allow me to gather a lot of essential information about what brings you to couples counseling – both what you each believe are the strengths and weaknesses in the relationship and what your natural patterns of communication and behavior tell me about you both and your relationship.
Online Questionnaire: Using a Gottman Institute online platform, I will provide you both an invitation in email to complete the online questionnaire which is roughly 400 questions you will each answer separately. It’s important to complete this questionnaire separately and privately. This questionnaire was created by psychologists Drs. John and Julie Gottman and their team and it is heavily backed by research they have conducted over 40 years.
Individual Sessions – 45 minutes each: I will meet with each of you separately for 45 minutes to connect with you individually and ask about your perspectives on the relationship and your individual family of origin information.
Review and Planning Session: Both partners and I will meet again to go over the results of the above events. In this session I will present to you the findings of the Assessment including highlights of the strengths and the weaknesses in your relationship (some of which you will be aware of and some of which you may not be aware of). I will present the findings in the context of what the research shows about health and unhealthy trends in relationships. Together we will create a plan for your course of couples counseling. Typically, my experience is that couples can benefit from 6-12 sessions after the assessment.
Learn, Repair, and Build Phase
This phase involves anywhere between 6 – 12 90 minutes sessions during which I teach concepts and practices for you both to improve and enrich your relationship. I utilize a combination of activities that you will practice in session with my guidance. Each session will provide you with additional practices to begin practicing at home between sessions.
You will have homework and it is essential you both prioritize practicing the practices you learn in sessions with each other regularly between sessions in order to benefit from your couples counseling.
What about the cost?
Given the unique nature of couples counseling with me, I do not bill insurance or EAPs and I do not provide OON superbills for these services. The reason for this is my session length is not billable AND I do not provide a DSM diagnosis for couples counseling which is required by insurance and EAPs.
90 minute sessions: $340
45 minute sessions: $170
Online Questionnaire (paid to the Gottman Institute): $39
What if I cannot afford couples counseling? Is there an alternative?
Yes. I do see adults individually through insurance and EAP. An alternative option is for me to take only one of you on as an individual client and support you by including much of the information you would learn in couples counseling with me through your individual therapy. Keep in mind, in order to bill your insurance I will have to assess you and provide a formal diagnosis depending on your presenting concerns and issues. Typically, depending on criteria, many adults are elligible for a diagnosis of some level of anxiety or adjustment disorder. We can discuss further if you want to explore this option.
Professional couples counseling can help repair and strengthen your relationship.
When the waters of the relationship are troubled, whether there has been a betrayal or a pattern of conflict, together we can identify where the strengths and the weaknesses are in the relationship. After a thorough assessment, in each counseling session we will work together to identify the patterns of behavior that are damaging the relationship and we will practice antidotes for these behaviors. Couples experience meaningful opportunity to explore feelings, desires and needs in the warmth, acceptance and emotional safety of this program. Between sessions, couples have “homework” that will help repair and re-mediate prior damage and begin a new way of relating and connecting.
If you and your spouse or partner would like to discuss entering couples counseling with me, please contact me so we can set up a brief meeting via my online video-conferencing platform.
A healthy marriage allows for change and growth.